Has life been hard somehow? Have you ever been there?
I've been and I am, I still am. Alhough I must say that I'm getting past it and believe that it will pass.
Let me tell you my story.
How did I ever get to this place? Why am I here?
Well, it all started when my husband was out of work. He did not like it, it was unexpected as his position is one of the Managerial ones in the company he worked for.
He was just told a day before his regularization that the following day will be his last day. I had a feeling that will happen because other employees in key positions were dismissed or terminated. But we kept our hopes high because we were banking on the fact that he's been doing his job and even giving more than required. But things did not turn out that way.
Sadly, he packed all his stuff the next day. He was rated low by one of his supervisors, a supervisor he had for a month, and graded him in the responsibility which was temporarily assigned to him just to cover the work that is not being accomplished in that area. It is just sad how, after obliging to do what management wants him to do although it is something he has never done before in his life, it served as a termination road for him.
Now that he has a new job after six months, we're more secure but we've spent our only savings to cover those 6 months where he was not able to find work. It was one of those trying times in our lives, especially with 2 kids to support and 2 helpers to pay for services rendered.
During these times, we did everything we can. We sold our old sofa which was bought nonetheless. We did not spend unnecessarily. We had to keep our own budget to minimum or less. We had to learn to live with what we have. We did not ask help from our parents, because my husband feels it is not right and that he did not want to worry about us.
Prayers were handy,too. Praying hard for help from above. And true enough, we were able to make it.
It's the consequence of this event that we are now facing. It was a sad and painful lesson learned the hard way. I learned from there on that really, one should have at least 6 months worth of savings or more to be able to cover unexpected expenses or happenings.
Lately, I am relieved and have become hopeful to chance upon a very beautiful verse from Deuteronomy 15:6 that says, "For the LORD your God will bless you as he has promised, and you will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. You will rule over many nations but none will rule over you.".
I am thankful and excited for this message, and looking forward to those blessings that will come! For this part of our life, we've learned to hold on and trust in God's provision and it has shown all these times, all these months. we've experienced God's provision in its truest sense.
That will be my next story in another post. Watch out for that! See you!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
It's Happening, New Things are Starting to Unfold
It's been ages (it feels) since I last wrote a post on this blog.
I've been busy doing this, and that. I've been into real estate stuff lately (that will be another blog) and have been tending to some little stores we've put up, have been a full time employee and a mom after office. Not to mention the other organizations I belong to and my commitments to a community.
So what have you been up to? You must have so many things on your checklist, too, more than what I have I guess!
I just want to say that things are better now, there are financial blessings to address financial needs. there is a change in how my son has viewed schooling, and wow! my little girl is not so little anymore, and yes, I have this arguments with my sister, etc. but all that will come in another more detailed post.
Right now, I just wanna say life is really interesting, funny and mysterious all at the same time! haha. Care to share your thoughts? What have you been up to lately? What has taken your time? Are you happy so far? not yet, why or why not?
I'd love to listen! God bless!
I've been busy doing this, and that. I've been into real estate stuff lately (that will be another blog) and have been tending to some little stores we've put up, have been a full time employee and a mom after office. Not to mention the other organizations I belong to and my commitments to a community.
So what have you been up to? You must have so many things on your checklist, too, more than what I have I guess!
I just want to say that things are better now, there are financial blessings to address financial needs. there is a change in how my son has viewed schooling, and wow! my little girl is not so little anymore, and yes, I have this arguments with my sister, etc. but all that will come in another more detailed post.
Right now, I just wanna say life is really interesting, funny and mysterious all at the same time! haha. Care to share your thoughts? What have you been up to lately? What has taken your time? Are you happy so far? not yet, why or why not?
I'd love to listen! God bless!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Good News about Work Today!!
My Dear Readers, or fellow bloggers,
A proposal concerning our department which directly affects me was approved today.
Earlier in the morning, there were seemingly obstacles we had to hurdle. I had to help my boss justify the need for one more personnel in the office, list down what are my pending jobs, why my OT is not high anyway, so what is the need for another personnel? You see, I work for 5 bosses plus one unofficial. I know, the total of that is six (6)! And I know or can already predict your reaction as I've seen the same reaction many times before, whenever I'd blurt out that information about work.
Dont' get me wrong, I am thankful that I have work because I know a lot of people are out there looking for work. I always remind myself that I should avoid having to complain. This is my source of income. This is how at present, I help my husband provide for our needs. This is how at present, God provides for us.
I'm blessed to have a good boss/department head. He lobbied to management the need for one more person in the office. He is the 3rd one to do this, and after several years, about 10 years more or less (I'm only turning 3 years old with the company), it is FINALLY approved. Yes!
When we learned of the decision, finally, I felt happy. Happy to know that there will be an additional person to work in our office soon.
But hey, when everyone has left and I saw an Admin person who got involved with the study of this development, I recognized that I am still sad deep inside. Inspite of the good news. Why is that?
Because, although, this is better, I know it is not yet the best, I know there is something else that will make me happy. And that will be something else to share on someday.
A proposal concerning our department which directly affects me was approved today.
Earlier in the morning, there were seemingly obstacles we had to hurdle. I had to help my boss justify the need for one more personnel in the office, list down what are my pending jobs, why my OT is not high anyway, so what is the need for another personnel? You see, I work for 5 bosses plus one unofficial. I know, the total of that is six (6)! And I know or can already predict your reaction as I've seen the same reaction many times before, whenever I'd blurt out that information about work.
Dont' get me wrong, I am thankful that I have work because I know a lot of people are out there looking for work. I always remind myself that I should avoid having to complain. This is my source of income. This is how at present, I help my husband provide for our needs. This is how at present, God provides for us.
I'm blessed to have a good boss/department head. He lobbied to management the need for one more person in the office. He is the 3rd one to do this, and after several years, about 10 years more or less (I'm only turning 3 years old with the company), it is FINALLY approved. Yes!
When we learned of the decision, finally, I felt happy. Happy to know that there will be an additional person to work in our office soon.
But hey, when everyone has left and I saw an Admin person who got involved with the study of this development, I recognized that I am still sad deep inside. Inspite of the good news. Why is that?
Because, although, this is better, I know it is not yet the best, I know there is something else that will make me happy. And that will be something else to share on someday.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Addiction Mania
What? Wasted time?
Where? When? How?
That is me asking!
Oh, there are many times we indulge ourselves in well-deserved breaks or activities. And I don't have anything against that. It is but right! Who would not want a break? Who would not want to do something he loves and something that makes him happy? I bet no one!
So what am I talking about now? Please read on and see.
My sharing is very personal and I am speaking (writing) only from experience. My experience.
I am a mom of two now and I can honestly say that I love my kids, my husband, my family. No doubt about it.
I was born and raised in the province. I do not regret that nor do I have anything against it. Besides, that is a given. There is nothing I can do about it. Right? (I can hear answers of yes and imagining some nodding from you there). I was practically home-school-home school person and if there was anywhere else I went to, that would be the church where my family would hear mass from and the "palengke" or local wet market. There were very few instances that I did went elsewhere, like a classmate's house for a short visit with other classmates or a place for practice since I was part of a choir. I went to the cinema with my parents to watch a Philippine-made movie and that was it. My next movie experience is already in college.
Come college, I went to the city (but not Manila) and there I studied. I still am that home-school person in college. So when I came to Manila to work, it was so much fun! Fun in the sense that there are so many malls, so many nice things compared to the province, the hustle and bustle of everyday though I must say I had my fair share of the "hardship" of living here such as the traffic, noise and pollution.
My single life revolved around work, community and self. I had no relationship for a long time and so time and resources were all practically just for me.
Since my parents do not oblige me to give to them regularly from my salary, I lived my life as if it was all there to do just what you want. When I say, just what you want, I meant just living it as how you please. I was a good girl still, had no vices and I was also actively involved in a community. My only addiction then was mall-hopping. I worked in Taguig then and would go home to Makati and my stopover for the next ride's terminal is at the heart of Makati. I was happy. I'd go from one mall to the other in oftentimes this way:
1) Greenbelt
2) Landmark
3) Glorietta
4) SM
I'd go home at about 9pm since I've made my rounds to these malls and I did this practically everyday. Fun? you bet so! There were days I will not do this, days when there are community meetings, etc.
Problem is, I had this for a long time. Everytime I would change jobs, I live and work close to malls. Wasn't my choosing, but so happens that all the jobs I had were all near malls even outside Manila after my first jobs here. So I do the same thing, go out then go malling. When I had my first child, I was so sad and depressed and helpless. I could not stay home, so I brought my child out at 5 days old. We went to the mall and it came a habit for me to bring him out. I had the feeling my in-laws were all finding me quite irresponsible doing such a thing, but I just shrugged it off because I had to do it to be happy.
I did not know it was a problem until I heard a talk by Bo Sanchez on How to Get Rid of Bad Habits: As an excerpt:
At the bottom of all addictions is this statement: “I don’t love myself.”
At the core of an addict’s heart is an empty Love Tank.
Every addiction is a hunger for love.
He doesn’t like himself.
He doesn’t value himself.
He doesn’t love himself.
That is why I believe that only love can heal an addiction.
I heard it, and kind of thought, I must be feeling unloved or less loved so I result to shopping. I was not really that shopping addict at first, I was just window shopping. The addiction, though, was the need to do window shopping, as if it's a must. But later, I started buying and buying and buying that everytime I go home, I have something bought from somewhere.
When I had my family and we're already in Manila, I still had the habit/addiction. I would be off at 4pm and would need to pass by a mall (again) in order to get my ride which had a terminal there. Upon entering, I would say, "oh, I'll check this or that" and would go round and round and round. The argument or awakening came when my husband who works farther away would be home earlier than me and would call me on my cellphone asking where I am. Then at that time will I only realize that I've been at the mall for several hours already. 3-4 hours to be exact. I'd apologize then hurrily try to find my way to the terminal (which I should have done hours ago). At first, it was easy to say sorry. But the frequency was high that finally, I had to hear the sad and painful truth that I have been neglecting my children.
Addiction of going to the mall and spending hours there for no reason was such a waste of time for me. I wasted hours I should have spent with my children or something more worthwhile but of course, that's over. The most important thing, I believe is recognizing it and doing something about it.
I am blessed to be told kindly by my husband and I guess that helped a lot. My siblings knew it so well that I do have this addiction for the mall and have noticed that all my work are all near the mall. Finally, when we came to rock bottom (adapted from Bo Sanchez), I found a reason to stop doing what I'm doing. Then I found several things to take care of to earn income, I lost time to have wasted time shopping for non-essentials.
I haven't read Bo Sanchez' book "Your past does not define your future" but I highly recommend it. I heard from others that it is good for those who have hang-overs of some things in the past. I have my own source of feeling less loved but that is going to be another post, I believe.
How about you, any addiction? Good for you if none!
For those with one or so, look within and find out why. Ask yourself, what is my need? We replace our need for something and oftentimes by replacing it, we become worse, not better. Just ask and look and take it from there. Be praying for you. God bless you!
Where? When? How?
That is me asking!
Oh, there are many times we indulge ourselves in well-deserved breaks or activities. And I don't have anything against that. It is but right! Who would not want a break? Who would not want to do something he loves and something that makes him happy? I bet no one!
So what am I talking about now? Please read on and see.
My sharing is very personal and I am speaking (writing) only from experience. My experience.
I am a mom of two now and I can honestly say that I love my kids, my husband, my family. No doubt about it.
I was born and raised in the province. I do not regret that nor do I have anything against it. Besides, that is a given. There is nothing I can do about it. Right? (I can hear answers of yes and imagining some nodding from you there). I was practically home-school-home school person and if there was anywhere else I went to, that would be the church where my family would hear mass from and the "palengke" or local wet market. There were very few instances that I did went elsewhere, like a classmate's house for a short visit with other classmates or a place for practice since I was part of a choir. I went to the cinema with my parents to watch a Philippine-made movie and that was it. My next movie experience is already in college.
Come college, I went to the city (but not Manila) and there I studied. I still am that home-school person in college. So when I came to Manila to work, it was so much fun! Fun in the sense that there are so many malls, so many nice things compared to the province, the hustle and bustle of everyday though I must say I had my fair share of the "hardship" of living here such as the traffic, noise and pollution.
My single life revolved around work, community and self. I had no relationship for a long time and so time and resources were all practically just for me.
Since my parents do not oblige me to give to them regularly from my salary, I lived my life as if it was all there to do just what you want. When I say, just what you want, I meant just living it as how you please. I was a good girl still, had no vices and I was also actively involved in a community. My only addiction then was mall-hopping. I worked in Taguig then and would go home to Makati and my stopover for the next ride's terminal is at the heart of Makati. I was happy. I'd go from one mall to the other in oftentimes this way:
1) Greenbelt
2) Landmark
3) Glorietta
4) SM
I'd go home at about 9pm since I've made my rounds to these malls and I did this practically everyday. Fun? you bet so! There were days I will not do this, days when there are community meetings, etc.
Problem is, I had this for a long time. Everytime I would change jobs, I live and work close to malls. Wasn't my choosing, but so happens that all the jobs I had were all near malls even outside Manila after my first jobs here. So I do the same thing, go out then go malling. When I had my first child, I was so sad and depressed and helpless. I could not stay home, so I brought my child out at 5 days old. We went to the mall and it came a habit for me to bring him out. I had the feeling my in-laws were all finding me quite irresponsible doing such a thing, but I just shrugged it off because I had to do it to be happy.
I did not know it was a problem until I heard a talk by Bo Sanchez on How to Get Rid of Bad Habits: As an excerpt:
At the bottom of all addictions is this statement: “I don’t love myself.”
At the core of an addict’s heart is an empty Love Tank.
Every addiction is a hunger for love.
He doesn’t like himself.
He doesn’t value himself.
He doesn’t love himself.
That is why I believe that only love can heal an addiction.
I heard it, and kind of thought, I must be feeling unloved or less loved so I result to shopping. I was not really that shopping addict at first, I was just window shopping. The addiction, though, was the need to do window shopping, as if it's a must. But later, I started buying and buying and buying that everytime I go home, I have something bought from somewhere.
When I had my family and we're already in Manila, I still had the habit/addiction. I would be off at 4pm and would need to pass by a mall (again) in order to get my ride which had a terminal there. Upon entering, I would say, "oh, I'll check this or that" and would go round and round and round. The argument or awakening came when my husband who works farther away would be home earlier than me and would call me on my cellphone asking where I am. Then at that time will I only realize that I've been at the mall for several hours already. 3-4 hours to be exact. I'd apologize then hurrily try to find my way to the terminal (which I should have done hours ago). At first, it was easy to say sorry. But the frequency was high that finally, I had to hear the sad and painful truth that I have been neglecting my children.
Addiction of going to the mall and spending hours there for no reason was such a waste of time for me. I wasted hours I should have spent with my children or something more worthwhile but of course, that's over. The most important thing, I believe is recognizing it and doing something about it.
I am blessed to be told kindly by my husband and I guess that helped a lot. My siblings knew it so well that I do have this addiction for the mall and have noticed that all my work are all near the mall. Finally, when we came to rock bottom (adapted from Bo Sanchez), I found a reason to stop doing what I'm doing. Then I found several things to take care of to earn income, I lost time to have wasted time shopping for non-essentials.
I haven't read Bo Sanchez' book "Your past does not define your future" but I highly recommend it. I heard from others that it is good for those who have hang-overs of some things in the past. I have my own source of feeling less loved but that is going to be another post, I believe.
How about you, any addiction? Good for you if none!
For those with one or so, look within and find out why. Ask yourself, what is my need? We replace our need for something and oftentimes by replacing it, we become worse, not better. Just ask and look and take it from there. Be praying for you. God bless you!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
A Dialogue that Changed my Life Plans and Goals
Each and everyone of us have, at some point in our lives, a turning moment, or a moment where we feel as if lightning has struck us. These moments, I believe, are very important and crucial. They hit us hard and we realize certain things in life. We suddenly rethink and reassess. Usually, they become a fuel for us to usually aim for something better, a better job, a better decision, a better partner, a better alternative or a different course of action altogether.
I remember one such moment, personally.
I don't exactly recall the date, but I do know that it was one morning my husband and I are preparing for work. It was a usual routine: upon waking up we'd head straight to the bathroom while our children are left sleeping in the room. At times, while bathing, we can hear that one or both of our kids are awake already and because we are pressed for time (us being late in sleeping at night, then my husband and I needing to leave for work at about 6:20-6:30am at the latest to catch a 7am work start. We intentionally chose a house near my workplace because I'm a sleep lover and I usually spend even the last chance for sleep, be it a minute of 30 secs so that I will not be late.
As soon as we get out of the bathroom, we say our hi, hello and good morning to our child/ren then rush to the room to dress up. In 10 minutes or so, we go to the dining area to eat fast while chatting with child/ren on the side. Usually, the TV is the first thing that our child/ren go to aside from the nanny. And then, in about 10 mins again, we move out of the house to catch my 7am work.
Then that particular morning, while dressing up, my son came up to me and asked if I am going to work. I kind of knew he wanted me to stay at home and spend time with him. But just like any regular parent who depend on their 8am-5pm job (mine is just 7am-4pm), I had to tell him something I hope and wish will never tell him again. I said" Yes, anak. Mommy have to go to work so we have something to buy milk, diaper of your sister, McDo burger and Fries, ice cream and toys. I am right, right?
But also, right after I said those words, I saw the sadness in my son's eyes, in my son's face. Sad and sorry, I told him, we will pray that there will be other ways for us to earn so that I don't have to leave for work and can spend more time for him. He agreed.
Commuting to the office, I felt like going back just to be with him. Just to be a mom and nothing else. I told my husband about it, but we knew at that very moment that I could not just quit my job. But I could not because my 5 bosses will need me to help them throughout the day. My husband saw and knew my pain and it is a pain he shares with me, he supports it as well and so we just decided to work on it.
From that moment, I desired and made it a goal to be able to find another way of earning but will let me have more time for family. Up to now, I am still working on it and storming the heavens and begging God in prayer that He grants this desire of mine. In retrospect, I thank my son for that moment because it awakened me and showed me what is really important to me as a person and as a mother. I thank God for using my son to direct me, to realign my priorities in life and to build a new dream in my heart.
Son, I am working on your request. And I know and believe that Our Father in Heaven sees all the efforts and sacrifices I am making for us to realize this dream. It will happen, in His perfect time. Meanwhile, know that I love you and that I always have you in mind even if I am not around. Let us wait with joy for God's answers!
I remember one such moment, personally.
I don't exactly recall the date, but I do know that it was one morning my husband and I are preparing for work. It was a usual routine: upon waking up we'd head straight to the bathroom while our children are left sleeping in the room. At times, while bathing, we can hear that one or both of our kids are awake already and because we are pressed for time (us being late in sleeping at night, then my husband and I needing to leave for work at about 6:20-6:30am at the latest to catch a 7am work start. We intentionally chose a house near my workplace because I'm a sleep lover and I usually spend even the last chance for sleep, be it a minute of 30 secs so that I will not be late.
As soon as we get out of the bathroom, we say our hi, hello and good morning to our child/ren then rush to the room to dress up. In 10 minutes or so, we go to the dining area to eat fast while chatting with child/ren on the side. Usually, the TV is the first thing that our child/ren go to aside from the nanny. And then, in about 10 mins again, we move out of the house to catch my 7am work.
Then that particular morning, while dressing up, my son came up to me and asked if I am going to work. I kind of knew he wanted me to stay at home and spend time with him. But just like any regular parent who depend on their 8am-5pm job (mine is just 7am-4pm), I had to tell him something I hope and wish will never tell him again. I said" Yes, anak. Mommy have to go to work so we have something to buy milk, diaper of your sister, McDo burger and Fries, ice cream and toys. I am right, right?
But also, right after I said those words, I saw the sadness in my son's eyes, in my son's face. Sad and sorry, I told him, we will pray that there will be other ways for us to earn so that I don't have to leave for work and can spend more time for him. He agreed.
Commuting to the office, I felt like going back just to be with him. Just to be a mom and nothing else. I told my husband about it, but we knew at that very moment that I could not just quit my job. But I could not because my 5 bosses will need me to help them throughout the day. My husband saw and knew my pain and it is a pain he shares with me, he supports it as well and so we just decided to work on it.
From that moment, I desired and made it a goal to be able to find another way of earning but will let me have more time for family. Up to now, I am still working on it and storming the heavens and begging God in prayer that He grants this desire of mine. In retrospect, I thank my son for that moment because it awakened me and showed me what is really important to me as a person and as a mother. I thank God for using my son to direct me, to realign my priorities in life and to build a new dream in my heart.
Son, I am working on your request. And I know and believe that Our Father in Heaven sees all the efforts and sacrifices I am making for us to realize this dream. It will happen, in His perfect time. Meanwhile, know that I love you and that I always have you in mind even if I am not around. Let us wait with joy for God's answers!
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