Each and everyone of us have, at some point in our lives, a turning moment, or a moment where we feel as if lightning has struck us. These moments, I believe, are very important and crucial. They hit us hard and we realize certain things in life. We suddenly rethink and reassess. Usually, they become a fuel for us to usually aim for something better, a better job, a better decision, a better partner, a better alternative or a different course of action altogether.
I remember one such moment, personally.
I don't exactly recall the date, but I do know that it was one morning my husband and I are preparing for work. It was a usual routine: upon waking up we'd head straight to the bathroom while our children are left sleeping in the room. At times, while bathing, we can hear that one or both of our kids are awake already and because we are pressed for time (us being late in sleeping at night, then my husband and I needing to leave for work at about 6:20-6:30am at the latest to catch a 7am work start. We intentionally chose a house near my workplace because I'm a sleep lover and I usually spend even the last chance for sleep, be it a minute of 30 secs so that I will not be late.
As soon as we get out of the bathroom, we say our hi, hello and good morning to our child/ren then rush to the room to dress up. In 10 minutes or so, we go to the dining area to eat fast while chatting with child/ren on the side. Usually, the TV is the first thing that our child/ren go to aside from the nanny. And then, in about 10 mins again, we move out of the house to catch my 7am work.
Then that particular morning, while dressing up, my son came up to me and asked if I am going to work. I kind of knew he wanted me to stay at home and spend time with him. But just like any regular parent who depend on their 8am-5pm job (mine is just 7am-4pm), I had to tell him something I hope and wish will never tell him again. I said" Yes, anak. Mommy have to go to work so we have something to buy milk, diaper of your sister, McDo burger and Fries, ice cream and toys. I am right, right?
But also, right after I said those words, I saw the sadness in my son's eyes, in my son's face. Sad and sorry, I told him, we will pray that there will be other ways for us to earn so that I don't have to leave for work and can spend more time for him. He agreed.
Commuting to the office, I felt like going back just to be with him. Just to be a mom and nothing else. I told my husband about it, but we knew at that very moment that I could not just quit my job. But I could not because my 5 bosses will need me to help them throughout the day. My husband saw and knew my pain and it is a pain he shares with me, he supports it as well and so we just decided to work on it.
From that moment, I desired and made it a goal to be able to find another way of earning but will let me have more time for family. Up to now, I am still working on it and storming the heavens and begging God in prayer that He grants this desire of mine. In retrospect, I thank my son for that moment because it awakened me and showed me what is really important to me as a person and as a mother. I thank God for using my son to direct me, to realign my priorities in life and to build a new dream in my heart.
Son, I am working on your request. And I know and believe that Our Father in Heaven sees all the efforts and sacrifices I am making for us to realize this dream. It will happen, in His perfect time. Meanwhile, know that I love you and that I always have you in mind even if I am not around. Let us wait with joy for God's answers!
I remember one such moment, personally.
I don't exactly recall the date, but I do know that it was one morning my husband and I are preparing for work. It was a usual routine: upon waking up we'd head straight to the bathroom while our children are left sleeping in the room. At times, while bathing, we can hear that one or both of our kids are awake already and because we are pressed for time (us being late in sleeping at night, then my husband and I needing to leave for work at about 6:20-6:30am at the latest to catch a 7am work start. We intentionally chose a house near my workplace because I'm a sleep lover and I usually spend even the last chance for sleep, be it a minute of 30 secs so that I will not be late.
As soon as we get out of the bathroom, we say our hi, hello and good morning to our child/ren then rush to the room to dress up. In 10 minutes or so, we go to the dining area to eat fast while chatting with child/ren on the side. Usually, the TV is the first thing that our child/ren go to aside from the nanny. And then, in about 10 mins again, we move out of the house to catch my 7am work.
Then that particular morning, while dressing up, my son came up to me and asked if I am going to work. I kind of knew he wanted me to stay at home and spend time with him. But just like any regular parent who depend on their 8am-5pm job (mine is just 7am-4pm), I had to tell him something I hope and wish will never tell him again. I said" Yes, anak. Mommy have to go to work so we have something to buy milk, diaper of your sister, McDo burger and Fries, ice cream and toys. I am right, right?
But also, right after I said those words, I saw the sadness in my son's eyes, in my son's face. Sad and sorry, I told him, we will pray that there will be other ways for us to earn so that I don't have to leave for work and can spend more time for him. He agreed.
Commuting to the office, I felt like going back just to be with him. Just to be a mom and nothing else. I told my husband about it, but we knew at that very moment that I could not just quit my job. But I could not because my 5 bosses will need me to help them throughout the day. My husband saw and knew my pain and it is a pain he shares with me, he supports it as well and so we just decided to work on it.
From that moment, I desired and made it a goal to be able to find another way of earning but will let me have more time for family. Up to now, I am still working on it and storming the heavens and begging God in prayer that He grants this desire of mine. In retrospect, I thank my son for that moment because it awakened me and showed me what is really important to me as a person and as a mother. I thank God for using my son to direct me, to realign my priorities in life and to build a new dream in my heart.
Son, I am working on your request. And I know and believe that Our Father in Heaven sees all the efforts and sacrifices I am making for us to realize this dream. It will happen, in His perfect time. Meanwhile, know that I love you and that I always have you in mind even if I am not around. Let us wait with joy for God's answers!
No comments:
Post a Comment